The first principle of my blog is Creating Ecosystems of Success and a key focus is Health/Wellness. Despite current beliefs and trends, it’s most healthy for children to grow up with both parents. To reverse these trends, it’s important to think about what can be done to keep fathers around. The following contributed post is entitled, Parental Alienation: Helping Men Stay As Fathers.
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No one ever hopes to go through a divorce but in modern society, divorce seems to be just as common as marriage. When this does occur, legally, it seems like there is a flaw in our system. Just 18% of fathers are given custody of their children. That’s a shocking statistic when you think about it. Fathers have to fight for the right to see their own children and still remain a positive force in their children’s upbringing. Anyone can see from a mile away that this is not fair. Regardless of what the parents feel about each other, the children should not be deprived of seeing both parents equally. This isn’t about the father versus the mother, it’s about giving our children a good upbringing and being a part of their lives without it being unfair for one side or the other. Parental alienation is almost exclusively felt on the father’s side, so what can we do about this?
Realize what fathers are
Both men and women bring different qualities to a child’s life. We often talk about great mothers are in the mainstream media, but we never get to hear how good an impact the father can have too. Fathers are known to teach children about hard work and standing up for themselves. Life lessons that will serve children well throughout their entire life. However fathers are also more likely to teach kids about finances and how they should take care of the money they earn. Mortgages, investments, pensions and much more are often discussed between fathers and their sons or daughters. Fathers also are more likely to teach their kids to be hardy, to tough it out and be strong. Although mothers can also do these things, it’s fathers are usually play this role in our children’s lives.
Not just a paycheck
Not only do fathers have to fight for their right to see their kids but very often, the family courts turn them into walking talking paychecks. However you never know when you’re going to fall on hard times and if you’re barely making enough to support yourself, paying child support could push you below the poverty line. If you need help to perhaps lower the payments you make speak to a child support attorney who is a specialist in this field. They know the rules around this like the back of their hand so they can find a way to explain to the courts in a convincing manner of your situation. No father wants to see their children go without, but it’s also not helpful to be so hounded for money that you end up going bankrupt.
A distant figure
Fathers can be great forces in their children’s lives but if they are away from them for too long, they simply become a distant figure. It’s much harder to re-enter their lives when they’re grown up than it is when they’re small. So fathers should not give up the fight in the courts and make sure they get to raise their kids.
Parental alienation is a big problem all throughout the Western world. It’s not good enough that just 18% of fathers get child custody rights. We must realize that fathers play a huge role in the upbringing of children and cannot be replaced by the state.